Iguana5-0

Ok. Its been a long time since I have posted anything, and since I have a new toy I figured I would post something kind of quickly. I recently bought a new smartphone, the Droid Bionic. This is my first foray into the real smartphone market and I have to say I really do like it. In fact, I am posting this now from the WordPress app while sitting at Aviator Brewing Company and drinking a beer. This is something I have wanted to do for a long time. A new category called “Notes From the Road”. Kind of a double meaning.

So for my one follower, life of going pretty good lately. I have a new lady friend. We have actually been hanging out for the last year and a half. But now we are doing much more. Tonight we went to the Clayton Fear Farm. Had a really good time. Tomorrow we are heading to Fayetteville for a treetop ziplining tour. I am really excited about that. Its gonna be a blast.

For now though things will just have to stay plutonic. Though I may want more, I am not sure how she feels about things. I do know that she is not looking for anything serious. Maybe that is the start. In the meantime, we have been having a lot of fun doing ordinary things…

The rest of my life is pretty drab. Still haven’t finished the divorce. We have a custody battle going on. Due for mediation on next Tuesday. This will be fun. Neither one of us will agree to what the other wants. So eventually we are going to end up in court. Definitely not something I am looking forward to. Well I don’t mean to go on and on. This post category is meant to be quick little snippets while I am out and about. I hope you enjoy. Hopefully my next post will have some good news. Until then…

Growing up, I always remember swimming at a friend’s pool.  They had a little sign on the fence next to the pool that read:

Welcome To Our ool
Notice there is no “P” in it
Let’s keep it that way

I always thought that was a funny sign.  I also used to hear rumors about chemicals that were put into the pool that will make the water turn purple if you pee into it.  These were good discouragements to keep me from peeing in a pool.  I don’t want to swim in my pee; and I sure as hell don’t want to swim in your pee either.  But to be honest, I never really thought about this until I had a pool.

In 2009, I bought a house with an above ground pool in the backyard.  I didn’t want the pool, but was convinced to keep it by my soon to be ex-wife (no correlation) and my sister, who all said to try it for a season, and that it would be good for my daughter.  So I agreed, and did not tear down the pool.  Summer of 2010 was my first year maintaining a pool.  I had a lot of issues, and subsequently learned a lot.  The two biggest lessons:

1. Maintain the chlorine levels
2. Run the pump long enough each day to circulate all the water in the pool through the filter

By following those two simple rules, my pool maintenance became easier, and I had fewer problems.  But I still had problems.  Algae was my biggest problem.  Originally, I did not run the pump long enough each day, and ended up with a pink slime / algae growth.  Every week I had to spend hours brushing, sweeping, vacuuming, and overall cleaning the pool.  Once I made sure the chlorine level and the pump runtime were up to spec, the pink slime issue went away, but I would still get yellow / green algae.  Even with high chlorine levels.  In came the algaecide.

I had been using algaecide, but it never really seemed to work.  I now know that not all algaecides are the same.  The cheapest are the copper based algaecides.  These are the ones that cause chlorine to be blamed for turning swimmer’s hair green.  Think about it, what does copper do when it oxidizes?  It turns green.  These are also prone to staining the liner of pools.  Then there are the “Quat” algaecides.  These have a slight smell to them, and can cause foaming in the water, but they don’t stain, and work really well against green algae.  But, if you don’t want foaming, don’t want the smell, and need to kill black or yellow algae, you need a “Poly-Quat” algeacide.  These are typically marketed as “Algaecide 60″, not to be confused with the “Algaecide 50″ which is the quat.  The only problem is the Poly-Quat algaecide is more expensive.

Without going into all the details, and to skip ahead to this year, I am going to leave out a lot of other information, and save it for another post.  This year I began having algae problems again.  I visited a new pool store, and picked up some poly-quat algaecide 60 to cure my ails, and noticed a sign that said “CONSTANT ALGAE PROBLEMS? MAYBE PHOSPHATE LEVELS ARE TOO HIGH. LET US TEST YOUR WATER!”  Phosphate?  WTF is that?  I haven’t read anything about that thus far.  Well, now I am educated.

I bought a phosphate test kit and tested my water.  The reading was over 2500 ppb.  That’s 2500 parts per billion.  Phosphates are measured in parts per billion, and mine was 2500.  The recommended level for a swimming pool is under 100.  Mine was 250 times over the recommended level.  Or that was my guess.  The test kit only read a peak level of 2500.  I bought a product called PhosFree, which is poured into the filter basket, and “locks up” or binds to the phosphate, causing it to be caught in the filter, or settle to the bottom of the pool for vacuuming.  The first bottle cost me about $35.  It did absolutely nothing to my phosphate level.  Back to the pool store.  I bought the $50 bottle of “Professional Strength” PhosFree.  Using half the bottle, my water clouded up quite a bit, but I ran it per the recommendations on the bottle.  After 24 hours, I backwashed the filter and checked the levels.  Looks like I got it down from 2500 to 1000 ppb.  In went the second half of the bottle.

After 24 hours, I put in a product called “Sink and Sweep” which is a polymer that is used to bind particles and drop them to the bottom of the pool.  The pump could not be running through the filter media during this time, so it was set to recirculate.  After 2 hours, I shut the pump off, and allowed the settling to begin.  12 hours later, I had nice, crystal clear water, with the white, milky, cloudy mess at the bottom, in the center of the pool.  A pretty big mass.  So I began vacuuming the pool bottom to waste.  It took about 20 minutes and I lost a lot of water.  But I retested my water, and the test read close to 100 ppb.  This means I fought this battle, and won.  Now, why did I have a problem, how do I keep it from happening again, and what is the next phase?

Phosphates are “food” for algae.  By having a high concentration of phosphate in the pool, I am just providing a food source for the algae.  Phosphates do not dissipate on their own from pool water.  Either drain the pool, or use a product that contains lanthanum.  Lanthanum is a natural occurring substance that is used for removing phosphates from the pool (even used to remove phosphate from people).  But where did the phosphates come from?  Since they don’t dissipate, and only continue to accumulate, there is no telling if it was from one source, but I have my suspicions.  Phosphates come from the following sources:

• Fertilizer
• Acid Rain
• Soap / Laundry detergent (latent on swimmers, swimsuits, towels)
• Decaying leaves and bugs
• Bird droppings
• Sweat
• Urine

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!  Urine?  You mean pee?  I had pee in my pool?  Well, let’s see… it’s an above ground pool, so fertilizer is should never come in contact with it.  Acid rain, soap, sweat, all of these are negligible.  I don’t have decaying leaves, and I skim the water and remove any bugs and what-not frequently.  This high of a concentration, is most likely from pee.  Yuck!  Who the hell is peeing in my pool?  Not me.  Not my friends, hopefully.  Not my daughter (she has to use the potty 20 times while we are swimming).  I have my suspicions, but I will wait to condem.  I will have a talk with a few people and make sure the younger swimmers do a good job of using the bathroom inside the house, and continue to monitor.  And since they don’t disappear on their own, it could have been from the previous home owner.

So now, my new regimen will be to check phosphate levels on a monthly basis, and proactively add PhosFree to my filter.  In small amounts, it keeps the water clean, and will counter-effect the acid rain, sweat, bird droppings, soap, etc.  Human urine will build up faster, and require higher doses.  And no, there is no chemical that will change the water color if someone pees in the pool, so we are on the honor system here people.  I don’t want to swim in your pee, and I am sure you don’t want to swim in mine.  Let’s keep it clean, and you are all welcome to swim in my “ool”.

So I finally had a chance to get out of town this last weekend.  It was much needed.  Since my separation, I have spent every night at my house.  Fifty percent of that time has been alone, the other fifty has been with my daughter to keep me company.  Every once in a while, an out-of-town guest comes and stays for a couple of days.  But I have never gotten out.  So that is what I did.

I was encouraged to go and visit some friends (Heather and David) in Wilmington, NC, meet some new people, and just have a good old time.  So that is what I did.  I took a half day on Friday, so I could work from home and watch my daughter at the same time.  When lunch time rolled around, I took my daughter to meet her mother for the weekend, ate lunch, and got a haircut.  I was set.  I was on the road by 3:45, which was a bit later than I wanted to leave.  Took back roads to I-40.  A nice little drive down 55 and 210 through Angier and Benson.  Nothing worth writing home about, and nothing worth stopping for, but a nice drive none-the-less.  Once on I-40, it was on… on like Donkey Kong.  Traffic was moving, and that was nice.  Average speed of 85; peaks over 90, but sticking with the traffic and not standing out.  2 hours, 15 minutes after I got on the road, I was in my friend’s driveway, hopping out of my car, into her brand new mini van, and off to the restaurant.

Restaurant locations changed when we found out the only table at the pizza place that could accommodate our group was taken.  So on we went to another place, Sweet & Savory.  I’ll just go ahead and tell you now, if you ever have the chance to eat here, do it.  I was very impressed.  It was here we met up with the neighbors, Chris and his wife, and another new friend Nicole.  Most people ate burgers, one person ate ribs, but I ate the veal chop.  Tasty.  Nothing better than a baby cow served with mashed potatoes and asparagus.  David and I washed it down with a pitcher of Kona Longboard Lager.  After dinner, we lingered a bit at the table talking about all kinds of things, adult conversation, something much deserved.  We then said our parting goodbyes, and headed “home”.  On the way home, Heather dropped David and I off at a local pub, Whiskey Creek Sports Pub.

Whiskey Creek was a hoppin’ little place.  An old oyster bar, converted into a local pub, serving good beer, and good pub food.  David and I tossed back a few Sam Adams Octoberfest.  As the night drew on, I needed a bit more food, so we ordered some fried jalapeno slices.  OMG.  Dipped in ranch dressing, those little suckers were awesome.  Think fried okra, but fiery hot.  Of course, we knew we would be paying for it in the morning, but we were living in the moment.  When we were done, our chariot arrived.  Another new friend, Miranda, in from Charlotte, picked us up and ushered us home, where we drank some more.

Saturday was definitely my highlight.  We all woke early (hard to sleep with a 7 month old in the house).  A breakfast casserole, fresh fruit, coffee and OJ was served.  I felt like I was at a bed and breakfast.  After breakfast, and after showering, we were off to the mall for a little shopping.  Heather was heading to a Marine Corps ball, and needed a new dress that she could fit her new nursing assets it.  It was a failure.  Nothing fit.  But I managed to find a few clothes for my daughter, and on sale.  Everybody met up for lunch at the pizza place that we were not able to eat at the previous night.

Slice of Life Pizzeria and Pub is a nice little pizza place. Daily specials include two slices and a drink, which is the way I went.  Heather, David, and Nicole, shared a full pizza, Miranda had a vegetable quesadilla, and I went with two slices of pepperoni and black olive.  Diners beware, when you order black olives on your pizza, you get a lot of black olives.  My pizza came out black.  Though it was good pizza, I let many of the olives drop, and never finished my meal.  Two slices is quite filling.

After lunch, I joined Nicole in her car, Heather and Miranda in the shaggin’ wagon, David and Riley in the Pilot, and we all headed down to Front Street.  Or so I thought.  Turns out David took Riley to a park.  Heather and Miranda had to stop 4 times (something was eaten that was not allowing someone to get off the toilet) and eventually went home.  It’s OK.  Nicole and I went to Front Street Brewery and had a good afternoon.  Nicole tried the Raspberry Wheat and I tried the Baltic Porter.  Mine was very good, Nicole ended up with a Miller Lite.  I eventually moved on to the Scottish Ale, and it also was good.  I prefer the Scottish Ale at Aviator Brewery; I feel that there is a deeper undertone of chocolate in the Aviator version.  It was also nice to have free nachos, but we had to leave when the crazy guy showed up, started counting his rosary beads, talking about nuns, and doing Tai Chi in the middle of the road.

Off we went to to visit the riverfront, and took a slow meandering walk over to Blue Post Billiards.  We walked in, and guess who we saw… Crazy Tai Chi Guy.  A quick turnaround, and off we went to Slainte Irish Pub.  This was a cool little pub.  We stayed for a long beer, and a few trips to the restroom to deposit the beers we had been renting up until this point.  We had a nice conversation, no subject off limits; until guess who showed up… Crazy Tai Chi Guy.  It was getting close enough to the dinner hour, so we headed out to get something to eat.

We decided on Italian food, and went to Elizabeth’s Pizza.  I was not impressed with the food.  I don’t think I would go back.  The waiter was very entertaining though.  He would be worth going back to see.  Dinner done, and being in the right part of town, off we went to Nicole’s house to let the dog out to pee.  She owns an Italian Greyhound named Mr. Deeds.  A very cool dog, even though I am not a pet person.  We had a nice conversation, but we were both getting tired, so I was back off for my weekend housing.

Sunday started with another excellent breakfast.  Heather fixed a french toast casserole, cheese grits, and sausage.  The french toast was amazingly good.  I need to get that recipe.  From what I heard, the only complicated part about the dish, is that it needs to be prepared 24-48 hours in advance; but so long as you plan.  After breakfast, and cleaning up, we went to meet my friends Jill, Dawson, and their family.  They had just moved in ad renovated Jill’s grandmother’s house, and it is really nice.  They have put a lot of work in, and it looks amazing.  But like any homeowner, there are ongoing projects, and they will never be done.

For lunch we headed out to Flaming Amy’s Burrito Barn.  This is a typical “build your own” burrito bar, with an excellent selection of homemade salsas, including an Avocado Wasabi, Pineapple Jalapeno, Ginger Peach, and a Green Tomatillo Salsa.  I had the burrito with jerk chicken.  Wow.  It was huge.  It was great.  I had to take half of it home with me it was so big.  Lunch was great, and being able to see all my friends was really nice.

After lunch though, I had to go.  I had been suffering all weekend with a toothache, and I had stuff that I needed to do back at home.  Two hours later, I was stopping in Benson at a CVS.  The toothache had gotten so bad, I had to get some medication.  I later found out I needed a root canal, which I got this morning.  Though this morning was not fun, my weekend was excellent.  I can’t wait to get back down to Wilmington to see all my friends again.  Maybe next time I can bring a few growlers of Aviator Brewing Company beer, and introduce them to one of Central NC’s finest breweries.  Until then…

As the advent of my 35th birthday looms on the horizon, I realize I am searching for love once again.  What does that mean?  Well, to be perfectly honest, I am not actively looking for love, but the idea is on my mind.  I have spent the last 6 years with someone I thought I loved, and who I thought loved me back, only to find out it was a lie the whole time.   One of my goals in life was to be successful and have a happy family.  I thought I was there, but unfortunately, I was told I was wrong.  It’s still a goal though.

I have been told that it may take me 3 years to get over this failed relationship.  Prior to this marriage, I had never had a relationship last longer than 2 years, and some of those took over a year to get over.  Then once I got into a new relationship, some of them took 6 months just to figure out if it was worth pursuing.  Then two years to figure out it was a mistake, and start over again.  Just to throw some rough numbers out there, I could easily be 40, maybe older, before I find someone new to spend the rest of my life with.

Is 40 too late to start a family?  Can I meet someone, have a relationship, get married, and have children at the age of 40?  Is that getting too old?  Though I know that I can have children at 40, will my future wife be able to?  The notion just depresses me.  What if this was my last (or only) chance to have a family.

I am not really interested in a relationship with anyone right now.  That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with anyone.  I do.  I miss the companionship.  I miss talking to someone when I go home.  Maybe that I why I don’t go home very much anymore.  I prefer to stay out, doing a whole lot of nothing.  Anyone want to do nothing with me?  No?  Got any friends who want to do nothing with me?  You can let them know that I am looking for love again, just not quite yet.  For now I just want a friend to hang out with.

The Human Body

Every once in a while I have one of those awkward thoughts pop into my head.  Many years ago, my friends and I were strolling down the beach of one of the many Inter-coastal canal islands in Hampstead,  NC, when an “epiphany” hit.  As the tide had moved out, there were hundreds of minnows left stranded in a little puddle on the beach.  That’s when it hit me.  What if those weren’t minnows.

Bear with me here.  My mind is pretty warped, so here is what I came up with.  Most things in life are size relative.  Whales are big; their eyes are big; their hearts are big; their wangs are big.  Yes, I said wang.  So what if their sperm is big; I don’t know, I’ve never seen whale sperm.  Have you?  How do we not know that those little minnows struggling for life in the little tide pool were not some blue whale’s misguided wet dream spooge.  It’s sperm.  I mean the puddle was kinda warm and salty, not that I tasted it or anything.

Yeah, just like you, my friends were a little skeptical, they laughed at me, and to this day they still make fun of me for it.  But that is how my mind works.  Quite dysfunctional.  So today, as I was taking a leak, I had a new thought.  Nothing quite like whale semen, though there were some image similarities.

Humans are relatively streamlined and aerodynamic.  Take a look at one; maybe even yourself.  Tall, thin, elongated bodies.  Nothing like a bumble bee, a bear, or a giraffe.  Of course, fat people and midgets are the exceptions to the rule.  But we have evolved over time to be taller, thinner, more streamlined.  Agree?  With exception.  Men would be streamlined if it weren’t for their wang.  A straight body, with a phallus sticking out.  Isn’t that weird?  I mean, look, it is just out of place.  And women.  Pretty streamlined, but then there are those lumps of fat on their chests.  Breasts, boobs, tits, fun bags, whatever you want to call them.  They just stick out as strange in the design of the human body.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my little man.  I don’t really do anything that he causes me to be less streamlined for, but the fact does exist.  And I love a woman’s sweater puppies.  Don’t want to see them go anywhere either (well, not true, but this posting is not where I was looking to talk about my fantasies).  But if we look at other species, many of them have developed internal or retractable man members.  And many female mammals don’t have milk jugs sticking out from their bodies (apes and cows are exceptions).  When you think of it that way, we look pretty awkward.

Now, don’t go calling the people at the mental institution on me.  This was just a random thought that passed through my head.  I don’t really have anyone at home to share it with anymore, so you get to hear it.  I know I am not the only one with such randomness flowing through my brain.  Have you had a random thought lately?